THOSE ABSURD WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP MOMENTS

I'm starting to record those absurd, bizarre and outlandish moments that occur in everyday life. I update this blog from time to time when I feel the sense of ridiculous rising within me in response to stupid and preposterous things that happen in daily life.

1. Don't Invite Me to Join Your Harem - Yikes! I can't help it. I am more insulted by your lack of respect for me thinking I would accept a relationship with anyone who can have many partners, while I am allowed to only have one partner, than I am warmed by your regard for me. I can not live with such double standards, I am made of different stuff than that...

2. Deviant Sex Does Not Make a Good Ice Breaker - If you don't know me, I am not likely to warm up to you like you may want, if you choose to discuss anything sexual with me within the first five minutes of meeting you, let alone discussing something so personal and strange at the same time!

3. No, I Won't Make Coffee or How To Diffuse Professional Teasing with Humor- This is old, from back when I had recently graduated from engineering school, as a female & had accepted a new job in the engineering field. Women engineers will tell you the first way coworkers will often to relate with the new girl engineer is through teasing her, "Oh good, I am glad you are here. Can you make coffee?" Lots of women would probably get mad when this happens. When I faced the teasing I decided to say something to effect of, "Oh gosh sir, I am new here. I don't know how things work. If you will make the coffee today & show me how it works, I will make it tomorrow". It always worked. They always laughed & only asked me to make coffee when it was my turn because I drank all the coffee. (Added 6/13/07)

4. If You Are a Virgo Forget About Asking Me Out - I have a weakness for Virgos :) I realize now that I can not be intimately involved with anymore Virgos, for my own sanity. A couple of years ago when I wanted to leave a bar where we were at, I said to a girl friend, joking, "Time to go, he's a Virgo." A dozen voices all replied back simultaneously, "What's wrong with Virgos?" (Added 7/3/07)

5. Don't Feed The Alligators - Really! See July 1, 2007 blog. It would be fun to put up a sign saying this but I think it might have the opposite effect from what I intend. (Added 7-8-7)

6. I am a shy person. - I know I present myself as a target by putting myself out there as a performer. People think I am joking when I say I am shy. Even so, I can still find it difficult to meet new people sometimes or just to engage in interactions with folks I don't know very well. If I seem a little a loof sometimes when dealing with people I do not know, it is because I REALLY AM A VERY SHY PERSON. (Added 7-12-07)

7. No, I am not going to follow anyone's "friendly advise" to just forget about how I faced & survived my extremely aggressive & metastatic ovarian cancer & get on with my life. *I am getting on with my life*. Just because someone is uncomfortable with the idea of cancer does not mean that I need to forget the biggest accomplishment in my life to date, just to make someone else feel good or less uncomfortable. I will not consider anyone who says this to me to a real friend. I don't want to forget the HUMONGOUS MIRACLES that occurred in my life because I was willing to authentically face my cancer. Profound healing took place for me & those who cared for me. If that is not enough, remember the adage *those who forget history are doomed to repeat their mistakes*. I was primarily responsible for saving my own life because I insisted on getting the proper medical tests immediately even though the doctors did not think I had cancer. If I had ignored the symptoms & intuitions telling me I was very sick, I would not be alive today. Knowing what the symptoms are & listening to the internal cues that signaled the disease are profoundly more important realities to me than being a good little sociable girl who pleases others at the detriment of her own survival needs. I feel a distinct lack of courage coming from the people who insist I just forget my cancer. I hope they don't loose someone close or even their own lives because they are too afraid to even think about cancer. (Added 9-2-07)

8. What not to say to your friend when she tells you her brother just died - Yes these situations really happened. Please don't anyone ask me what is wrong & when I say my brother just died, interrupt me to tell me I need to call another mutual friend & comfort them through the cancer the other friend's dog is coping with. Also when you ask your friend how did the brother die, don't interrupt the friend as she is tries to answer your question to say, "You have to come first now & I am here for you". (Added 10-6-07)

Name changed 10-6-07 from THINGS I WANT TO SAY ALOUD BUT JUDGEMENT PREVENTS OR REPLIES I DON'T THINK OF IN THE MOMENT & 1st paragraph edited/shortened.